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Our crappy cell phone pics

Our Family Vacation in Crappy Cell Phone Pics

Real Mom Recs family vacation

You know that Onion article called “Mom Spends Beach Vacation Assuming All Household Duties In Closer Proximity To Ocean”? Our family vacation had a healthy dose of THAT.

Traveling with kids is never really a vacation for the parents who still need to do all their regular tasks just in a different place. In addition to that, I pretty much ignored all of my own travel advice, threw the kids completely off their schedules, and overstimulated them. We did make some pretty awesome memories through all of that too. We got to visit with extended family and make a few fun stops on the way back.

Check out our family vacation through my crappy cell phone pics!

(And lest you think these are just the outtakes and we have some pretty looking album full of nice pictures somewhere… NOPE. These are it.)

Family vacation in crappy cell phone pics

John and the girls drove, while I flew down with those-who-can’t-handle-long-car-rides. Use your imagination about the other plane passengers passing by the open seat next to us. Us being the lady with the baby and hyperactive little boy. The first 50 people to pass us by smirked as if to say “NOT IT!” and the unlucky winner (with no other option) reluctantly sat down next to us. I almost felt bad for the poor sucker, until I realized the only worse seat on the plane was MINE.

Family vacation in crappy cell phone pics

Zari, as the plane is ascending into the clouds: “wait, are we gonna see GOD anywhere up here???” (To buy a minute of quiet I told him “maybe if you look really really hard”.)

Family vacation in crappy cell phone pics

We were visiting family for a baptism, so you can see how delighted the kids were to be spending their vacation going to church.

Family vacation in crappy cell phone pics

I dressed the kids cute, so I get faces like these.

Family vacation in crappy cell phone pics

“Here Dad, let’s play that fun game where I take my shoe off and then you have to put it back on. How else am I supposed to spend an hour in church???”

Family vacation in crappy cell phone pics

That sweet family photo where Mom and Dad are trying their best not to lose it on the one kid who keeps ruining the picture.

Family vacation in crappy cell phone pics

I told them to look like they like each other and I’m pretty sure Tiana’s giving me the kid-version of the middle finger.

Family vacation in crappy cell phone pics

That time I sat there taking pics of my kid without even realizing he was playing with a DIRTY CIGARETTE BUTT. Still waiting for that Mom of the Year trophy.

Family vacation in crappy cell phone pics

How did I not notice that my son has the gangliest arms on the planet before taking this picture?

Real Mom Recs family vacation

That picture where Tiana is trying not to pee her pants because she needs to go and there are fountains everywhere.

Family vacation in crappy cell phone pics

“Hey Mom, anytime you want to stop forcing me to smile while being blinded by direct sunlight, that would be greeeeeat.”

Family vacation in crappy cell phone pics

Apparently kids really can sleep anywhere. The trick is you need to sleep torture them for three days first.

Family vacation in crappy cell phone picsVacation day 4: Baby wakes up with a suspicious rash, and we realize he hasn’t just been tired and miserable from traveling but because he has roseola. (Where is that trophy, anyway?)

Family vacation in crappy cell phone pics

We still need to make this trip fun for the non-sick kiddos, so let’s just go ahead and get them ice cream cones bigger than their heads and hope for the best.

Family vacation in crappy cell phone pics

Water park day. No idea why Tiana thinks she needs to hold her breath while sitting on a giant tube in the open air.

Family vacation in crappy cell phone pics

All of my kids love lazy rivers, which is proof that they take pleasure in seeing their parents in an extended state of panic.

Family vacation in crappy cell phone pics

Water park trip: great fun for 3/4 of the my children

RealMomRecs family vacation

Looking into the lake… T:”Look, a fish.”
Z: “Wow, a turtle too!”
E: “Well, I see a shark…” 😆

Real Mom Recs family vacation

Science center fun! Sicky boy is feeling much better and would like to spend the entire day driving this pretend ambulance.

Real Mom Recs family vacation

Why is it that being sick so unfun, but pretending to be sick is super fun?

RealMomRecs family vacation fun

“Sure Mom, just keep sitting there taking that picture while I do all the work around here!”

RMR family vacation

Thanks to this fun simulator, the kids are now wishing for our house to get hit by a tornado.

Vacation came to an end, and we all made it back in one piece. 82 loads of laundry later, life is back to business as usual. I’ll get around to putting those suitcases away one of these days.

Don’t miss the other installments of Our Crappy Cell Phone Pics!

Our Week In Crappy Cell Phone Pics (6/29/17)

RealMomRecs Our Week in Crappy Cell Phone Pics

School’s out now, so our crappy cell phone pics should reflect the utter chaos that is our current home life.

We are spending most of our days at the pool to avoid killing each other at home.

 

RealMomRecs Jun17

Push up pops always seem like a good idea until an over-excited kid pushes it all the way up, out, and into the dirt.

 

RealMomRecs crappy photos

Nothing says “classy” like a baby wearing only a diaper playing with a red Solo cup.

 

When you’re only 7 but you’re pretty much too cool for everything.

 

Brought the kids to watch a baseball game so they could eat their weight in junk food and still have no understanding of baseball.

 

Parenting riddle: How many fairs does a Mom need to attend before she realizes it’s pointless to try to take pictures of a moving ride?

 

Ice bucket challenge: toddler edition

 

I completely underestimated the level of humiliation a 7 and 8 year old could feel from an over-excited Mom wanting a pic of their first swim meet.

 

Adventures in grocery shopping with 4 kids, or “when parents bury their young in food products”.

 

Luca selfie

Kids today with their cell phones. It’s like they start taking selfies when they’re practically babies.

 

Letting 4 year olds walk along the stone wall and jump into an 8 year old’s arms: file that one under “seemed like a good idea at the time.”

 

When your kid gets her face painted and turns into a real life Snapchat filter.

 

RMR crappy photos

The kids got to go in these giant human hamster balls for the last day of school. When I was a kid we got our thrills from the possibility of being burned going down the big metal slide.

 

 

Check our previous Weeks in Crappy Cell Phone Pics: June 8

May 17

April 11

Our Week In Crappy Cell Phone Pics (6/8/17)

I’m hoping you’ll notice my pics are getting gradually less crappy. I’m on Instagram now (look at me trying to be a millennial or a Cool Mom or something!) so I’m putting some serious effort into learning how to take pictures that aren’t awful. Or as close to not-awful as you can get when you’re photographing uncooperative moving subjects with a cell phone.

Tiana had her dance recital, which means we dress her up like a clown and let her wear red lipstick and then smuggle her out during intermission so we don’t have to stay and watch the whole thing. (Told you I’m a slacker mom!)

Now that I’m trying to take cool pictures, we experiment with shots like this. We tell the small child it’s ok if we end up getting tackled after.

Zari was a rabbit in his first grade play. It was super cute, even if the acting left something to be desired.

Sometimes we take the kids to the beach even though it’s freezing out. The we yell at them to have a good time.

 

“Enough already Mom with the trying to take cool pictures! Can’t a baby just swing???”

Taught the kids the good old baking soda + vinegar trick. The next day I overhear kid2 to kid3: “We’re gonna need safety goggles for this!”

“Do something cute and act like you love each other! Don’t you know Mommy needs Instagram followers???”

When you’re trying to get a pretty picture of your kid’s new hair style, but also trying not to show that you’re at McDonalds.

Elle was so excited to get to school for “beach day”, we arrived there 10 minutes early. Trust me, this is news people!

Until next time!

Our Week in Crappy Cell Phone pics (5/17/17)

Take a peek at our fun family adventures as of late through the eyes of my crappy cell phone pictures.

Little Man turned 1!  To alleviate the guilt I had about doing absolutely nothing for his party, I paid someone to make him a kickass cake.

Elle went to a pool party for 4 year olds, also known as a mom’s 2 hour heart attack.

Luca apparently inherited my feelings towards vacuuming.

John succeeded in hiding my Mother’s Day gift for a week by putting it in a place I’d never look.

Part of being a little sister is knowing your role as the camel’s hump.

Brunch without booze is just a sad late breakfast.

I went to cheer Tiana on for her race where she yelled at me for embarrassing her.

Well I ain’t saying he’s a gold digger…

Zari’s assignment was to make something out of recycled materials.  Every other kid made a robot, car, or castle.  My little creative genius made a graveyard.  Note the caption on the gravestone: “Dead people blood”. (Alternate caption: How to get a call home from school).

This pic makes our family hike look like a great time, because you can’t hear the whining.

Our Week in Crappy Cell Phone Pics (4/11/17)

When you’re trying to do a toy review and you need a photo of your precious little cherub playing…  you get faces like this.

Elle started out all too happy about getting to wear a bathing suit for “beach day” at gymnastics.  You should have seen her “bitch stole my look” face when another little girl showed up in the same bathing suit.

 

It’s spring break, so my kids don’t have homework, but they can’t handle changes in routine so they are doing “play homework”.

When your mom is taking WAY too long to cook dinner.

 

Luca: “It wasn’t me”.