Are you a Slacker Mom? Here’s why your kids will thank you

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What is a Slacker Mom?

Slacker Moms are mothers who would like their kids to have delicious home-cooked organic dinners every night, but would also like not to spend an hour standing at the stove with kids pulling at their pants only to gag on the meal and end up eating toast.

Slacker Moms don’t care to get competitive with other parents about things that really don’t matter. We opt out of the Mommy rat race, choosing not to stay up until 3am on February 13 assembling adorable and witty Pinterest-inspired homemade Valentine’s treats for all of our children’s classmates.

Slacker Moms are able to prioritize what’s really important and what to let go of (free of guilt!). Reading books with your kids? Important. Remembering to sign that annoying reading log every night? Meh.

Slacker Moms are blessed with confidence. We don’t obsess over what other Moms think of us because we know we are taking care of the important stuff and that’s all that really matters. We are not plagued with worry that we are failing as parents because our kids have tasted a McDonalds french fry.

In a world full of soccer moms, tiger moms, and helicopter moms, let’s make it OK to be a Slacker Mom.

5 Signs you might be a Slacker Mom

1. You don’t so much “cook dinner” as do you “prepare food”.

Baking chicken nuggets and microwaving some steamfresh corn doesn’t really qualify as cooking so let’s just call a spade a spade.

2. Nightly baths?  Let’s try weekly baths.

They don’t get THAT dirty during school, right?  And in the summer, swimming in the pool totally counts as bathing.

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3. You offer your kids candy bribes for cooperation.

Who really cares about intrinsic motivation when 2 M&Ms cuts 45 minutes off your morning routine?

4. When the teacher sends an email asking parents to bring in food for the class party, you are first one to sign up to bring napkins.

You want me to bake?  When it’s not even my kid’s birthday?

5. It has to be a special occasion for you to dress your baby in actual clothes.

Footie pajamas absolutely pass as clothes for the first year.  I’m pretty sure the first time my youngest child ever wore pants was Christmas.  He was born in May.

OK, so I might be a Slacker Mom.  Are my children doomed?

Not only are the children of Slacker Moms not doomed, I would actually say they reap benefits from this style of parenting. Slacker Moms are not Neglectful Moms. We just know the difference between a want and a need. We are able to meet our kids’ needs without putting our own needs last. The kids see that Mommy is a person too, with her own goals, hobbies, desires, and obligations that do not involve them. It is OK, and healthy, for children to see that their mother is a whole, complex person and not a being who exists to serve them.

Children of Slacker Moms have opportunities to learn responsibility. A good rule of thumb, and one of the pillars of my parenting style is “don’t do anything for your child that the child can do himself“.

We don’t feel the need to micromanage our children by doing things like packing their backpacks for them each night and remembering to include their library book on the correct day.  This means little Johnny knows if he wants to pick a new book on library day, he has to remember his book on the right day. After a couple times of forgetting, Johnny remembers to put it in his backpack on Wednesday. Johnny just took responsibility.

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The children of Slacker Moms get to enjoy a certain amount of freedom. Maybe not “free range Mom” freedom, but certainly a huge step up from “helicopter Mom” freedom. They can climb trees, because Slacker Moms are fans old school, normal childhood activities and aren’t paranoid about the possibility of injury. Our children can play in the woods without Mom being there to watch their every move. They can pick up a stick. They can enjoy the feeling of being barefoot in the grass on a warm summer day.

Take a deep breath, Slacker Mom.

The next time your kid goes to a 5th birthday party decorated with centerpieces more extravagant than the ones you had at your wedding, remember this. That over-achieving Mom probably worked herself into a frenzy doing party prep that none of the kids noticed or cared about. You probably played checkers with your kid that day. He’ll remember the checkers.

Author

Adoptive mom, biological mom, slacker mom, Disney mom, and above all things a REAL mom. Fan of blogging, sleeping, and pretending not to hear my kids fight.

24 comments

  1. Great article! Fun term “slacker mom”! I would say I’m 50/50 on the slacker mom meater, mostly because I love cooking! But we definatly hit the drive through on busy days!! As my daughter calls it “chicks-a-way” 😂

  2. Cute and nice!

    I don’t identify with being a slacker mom, but I also know the value of good ol’ fashion play of getting mud in between your toes and it’s okay if my son picks up a work and then picks his nose 🙂

    There’s a balance for sure!

  3. I’m not okay with bribing my kid with candy all the time but I do give my kid a piece of fruit or a bit of cookie dough when I’m baking to get him to stop whining and sometimes he gets a piece or two when he asks nicely. he has gotten drive through food when I’m feeling to tired and frazzled- I love being a slacker mom ! as long as my kid feels loved, fed ,clothed and has a safe home to come to that’s all that matters .

  4. This sums me up so perfectly. I am definitely the mom that microwaves dinners, does not ever look in back packs, does not sign reading logs but do read everynight, and my kids get a bath every other night unless they have been sweating. Great article. I really do feel better!

  5. Love this! I use the hashtag #lazymom so much. They don’t need a nightly bath. And volunteering at the preschool got old quick. My mother-in-law once questioned why I wasn’t changing my baby into pjs one evening. The outfit she had one was soft and clean – why bother? Sometimes I make dinner, sometimes we have frozen pizza. But I always make time to play with my kids. That’s all that really matters, right?

  6. This is amazing! I am on my first kid, and I’m still finding my footing as a mom. This gives me some clarity in my goals. If their needs are being met and they are happy it is ok if everything isn’t perfect. I forgot to put socks on my kiddo one warm day and you would’ve thought the world was ending by some of the reactions I got haha. He was fine! He loves having bare feet. Thanks for this post.

  7. From the bottom of my heart and soul THANK YOU SO MUCH for this article.Almost make me wanna cry with joy knowing I’m not the only one…..

  8. Seriously a million times yes! I’ve never related to anything harder in my life. My kids know they’re loved & they’re always taken care of, but why would I put myself through the ordeal of cooking a meal when I could microwave chicken nuggets and cut up an apple and my 3 yo would be just as happy (if not happier lol). Shared to Facebook because this is the best.

  9. If you have ever seen the show “the Middle” I completely relate to Frankie Heck, THE slacker mom! I totally have my “Frankie moments”, like the time with my oldest I forgot it was career day at preschool. Luckily, I found a toy microphone rolling around the back of the car and gave him that and an umbrella and told him “here, you’re a weatherman on location!”😂 I would caution however judging the mom who loves to go the extra mile to bake and do Pinteresty stuff. I’m a crafty gal and I absolutely love that stuff! Currently planning my twin’s 6th bday and I know some people will think I’m going overboard or putting too much effort in, but I enjoy it, it energizes me and lets me use my creative side. Maybe I’m a slacker cause this is their first party (that wasn’t just family)? I’d add that I hate (right or wrong) the mom who is completely made up, full hair and makeup for preschool drop off..only to head to the gym? Who are you trying to impress? Then again, maybe it’s your “thing”, I’ll try not to judge!

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