Parenting Archives - Page 6 of 11 - Real Mom Recs

Category

Parenting

5 Things Every Child Should Know by Age 5

Posted by - 11 Comments

Kid number 3 just turned 5 over here and for some reason that age stands out to me as a milestone. At age 5 they go to kindergarten and aren’t by our sides every minute. They have developed a sense of themselves and where they fit into the world. The therapist in me collides with the Mom in me at this age as I struggle to prepare her for all the possible dark scenarios she may encounter.

I’ve always been big on preparing my kids for the “what if”s: talking openly and honestly about topics even if they might be somewhat scary to little ones. Having worked with kids who have lived through a lot of scary stuff, I know it’s better to prepare my children than try to keep them in a happy, naive bubble.

Parents, don’t shy away from teaching and talking to your kids. There are more important things they need to learn than their sight words and ways to make 10.

safety skills for 5 year olds

1. Mom and Dad’s real names and contact info

Several times I’ve been faced with a lost child in public, and being the motherly soul that I am, I take it upon myself to help the crying kid. It usually starts like this:

Me: “What’s your name?”

Kid: [says name]

Me: “What’s your Mom’s name?”

Kid: “Mommy.”

Me: [Facepalm]

Think your under 5 year old knows your full name? Go give them a pop quiz and make sure.

Work on helping them memorize their address and phone number too. Since phone numbers can be hard for little ones, just pick the one number that is most important for them to know. Typically this is Mom’s cell phone and not the house line.

Pro tip: Make the phone number into a song to help your child remember it.

2. What an emergency is and how to call 911

If you’re anything like me, you’ve probably spent the last 5 years trying to lock your kid out of your phone. If they get their hands on it, your camera roll ends up looking like this:

Regardless if they are allowed to use your phone or not, make sure you teach them how to call 911 in case there is ever an emergency. If you have an iPhone, they can bypass your passcode by pressing “Emergency” in the lower left corner and then dial 911.

safety skills for 5 year olds

Make sure you practice and rehearse this! My second child constantly mistook the emergency number for “991” when he was a preschooler.

While you’re teaching this, make sure they know what an emergency actually is. You don’t want your kid dialing 911 because their brother finished the Capn’ Crunch.

3. The bathing suit rule

If you haven’t worked with abused children, this might not be on your radar. But it should be.

The bathing suit rule is simple: any place on your body that a bathing suit covers can only be touched by Mom, Dad, or a doctor with Mom or Dad there.

And the same rule applies for the child touching other people. If their bathing suit covers it, you don’t touch it.

The bathing suit concept just makes it easy for kids to visualize and determine what parts are private. If you prefer to take the direct approach and name the body parts that are off limits, that works too.

Either way is far better than saying nothing on the topic.

4. There are no secrets from Mom and Dad

This one kind of goes hand in hand with #3, but can apply to many other situations as well.

Anytime a grownup tells your child that something is “their little secret” or that they shouldn’t tell their parents, that should set off an alarm in their brain to immediately go and tell Mom and Dad!

Unfortunately, most young children have been conditioned to blindly listen to any and all adults. Some will follow directions when a grownup tells them never to tell anyone their secret. Be clear with your kids that NOTHING is a secret from Mom and Dad, and anyone who asks them to keep a secret is breaking their family rule.

Note: All family members need to be aware of this rule. This means Mom can not take Suzie on a “secret” shopping trip that they aren’t going to tell Dad about. No secrets from Mom and Dad means no secrets from Mom and Dad!

5. Who the safe people are

Did you know that often times young children die in house fires because they are afraid and hiding from firefighters who are trying to rescue them?

It makes sense when you think about a small child, already panicked over the smoke and commotion, seeing a larger person with a dark suit covering their entire body including their face.

safety skills for 5 year olds
To a child this looks more like Darth Vader than an everyday hero

Prepare your kids by showing them photos of firefighters in full gear and labeling firefighters as helpers or safe people. Do the same for police officers and other community members that you want your child to turn to in case of emergency.

Along the same lines, identify specific neighbors to be their “safe people” that they will go to for help if they are ever locked out of their house or any other scenario where they are without an adult.

Can you think of more basic safety skills for 5 year olds? Do you think today’s kids are adequately prepared?

 

Teaching Children Healthy Ways to Express Feelings

Posted by - Be the first to comment

This is part 2 in a 3 part series about teaching Emotional Intelligence to children. Part one focuses on teaching children the vocabulary to name their feelings, as well as recognize the corresponding facial expressions.

Part 2 is about teaching kids to express feelings in a healthy way.

teach kids to express feelings

Disclaimer: This post may contain affiliate links, which means if you order something after clicking my link I may receive a small commission at no extra cost to you.

Unhealthy ways kids typically express feelings

The ultimate goal is that children will express their feelings appropriately with words. Developmentally, young children have two deficits that make it more difficult for them to do this. First, they lack the language skills to express themselves. Their language skills are more rudimentary than adults and they vocabulary to describe their feelings is still new to them. Secondly, they lack self-control. This means their responses are impulsive and tend to be physical, knee-jerk reactions like hitting, screaming, biting, or tantrums.

As our children grow, their language skills and self-control develop and these problem behaviors begin to fade. In the meantime, we teach our children to pause before responding and to use their words in an effort to have them expressing themselves appropriately over time.

All feelings are ok

It’s important to remember never to judge your child’s feelings. It will not help them develop healthy coping skills if you act like only positive emotions are acceptable to you. Even “ugly” feelings like jealousy, sadness, and anger are normal and OK.

(Think of how many adults you know who need to learn how to feel these negative feelings after years of being taught to bury or hide them!)

Without passing judgement, allow your child to feel their feelings. The goal is not to deny the child their negative feelings, but teach them appropriate responses to these feelings.

Separate feelings from behavior

Even if their behavior is not acceptable, their feelings are.

While all feelings are ok, the behaviors that come out as a result of these feelings are not always ok. For example, a child who hits in response to anger when another child has taken their toy is having an unacceptable behavior in response to an acceptable feeling. The important distinction for parents to make is that while all feelings are OK, there are acceptable and unacceptable ways to express these feelings.

Make the distinction clear to your child by telling them “it is OK to feel angry when someone has taken something from you. But we never use our hands for hurting.” Give them an alternative behavior to replace the problem behavior. “Next time you feel angry, try using your words. Talk about it, and make a plan for how you will take turns. Go to a grown up if you need help using your words.”

Do not withhold love due to behavior

After children act out, they typically have feelings of shame. The parents’ job is to teach them how to behave without shaming them. Shaming a child for their bad behavior can cause them to believe they are inherently bad and even worse, unlovable.

When my kids calm down after misbehaving, I make sure to give them a hug and let them know I still love them. They know I don’t always love their actions, but I will always love them.

teach kids to express feelings

Validate, validate, validate

The golden rule of teaching your children healthy ways to express emotions is first to always validate their feelings.

It can be challenging for parents to take the step of validating their child’s feelings when their child is misbehaving. Most parents will skip this step and immediately reprimand the behavior and punish the child. Take the time to consider how this plays out for a small child.

  1. Suzie took my toy without asking when I was playing with it.
  2. I got mad, so I hit her.
  3. Mom got so mad, she yelled and put me on this stair.
  4. Now I’m mad at Suzie and I’m mad at Mom.

The child might do their time out and return to playing, but nothing has been learned to prevent this from happening again. The child has not built any skills to express themselves in a better way. Additionally, the relationship between parent and child has been weakened.

When your child feels understood and validated by you, they feel closer to you. They will respond better to what you’re trying to teach them when they feel you understand them.

Practice healthy ways to express feelings

Work on these skills with your child to learn how to manage and express their feelings:

  1. Deep breathing: Taking deep breaths slows down the body’s response to adrenaline and assists in returning to a calm state. Practice with your child when they are not escalated. Tell them to practice taking a deep breath and blow out while counting to 5. You can have them imagine they are blowing up a balloon or blowing out birthday candles. The trick is to make sure they are doing long, slow breaths and not 5 short quick ones.
  2. Drawing your feelings: When children are having trouble expressing their feelings with words, you can give them blank paper and a box of crayons or markers and tell them to draw their feelings. I’ve seen children take this literally and draw a picture of a sad child with big tears going down the paper, and I’ve seen children go with a more symbolic route and emphatically fill the paper with red or black markings to indicate anger. Either way, the act of coloring is a release of these feelings. An extra benefit is that when they are done coloring, they tend to explain the drawing by describing what made them feel that way.
  3. Physical release: My children often choose to express themselves with physical movement. Sometimes they will request a certain song (or type of song) and express their feelings through dance. Other times they just need the physical release of some active toys and we have our basement playroom set up to allow this. With aggressive children who have a tendency to lash out and hit others, a step down approach might involve giving them a pillow or stuffed animal to punch in place of hitting another person.

Problem solving

You always want to listen to your child and validate their feelings, but you don’t want to solve their problems for them. Instead, guide them through with questions that will help them solve their own problems. Help them brainstorm some possible courses of action and ask them what the consequence of each one would be. The goal is to become your child’s inner voice. Eventually he or she will be able to pause before reacting to their feelings, and come up with a good solution on their own.

Books to help your child manage their feelings

These are books I absolutely love and used almost daily in my work as a child therapist:

Children who are prone to angry outbursts will be nodding their heads while you read this book. When the boy is told no, he feels his anger rise up and grow until he turns into an angry dragon. As the angry dragon, nothing is safe, “not even Mom and Dad”. It perfectly illustrates how out of control and scary it feels to be so angry. Eventually the dragon’s anger turn to sadness and his tears melt the angry feelings away. He turns into a boy again and his Mom and Dad are there to comfort him.

One of our favorite authors, Molly Bang, tells the story of young Sohpie, who gets in a fight over a toy with her sister. She feels her anger well up inside until she explodes and runs outside into the wide, wide world. Eventually she finds a tree to climb and looks out into nature and feels peaceful. After a little while, she cries. She feels herself calm and returns home to her family. The author shows a keen understanding of how children feel their emotions and many young children will relate to this book.

A great resource for kids with anxiety or who just tend to be more worrisome. It talks about what worries are and how they make you feel. Most importantly, it teaches basic coping skills for kids to manage their worries, such as relaxation, physical activity, and positive self-talk.

What has been the greatest challenge for you in teaching your kids how to manage their emotions? What topics would you like learn more about?

Share in the comments! I would love to write more posts that are useful to my readers.

How to Raise Emotionally Intelligent Children

Posted by - 4 Comments

This is part 1 of a 3 part series about Emotional Intelligence in children. Part 1 focuses on laying the framework for your young child to develop their knowledge of feelings and facial expressions in an age-appropriate way. Part 2 is about how to teach our children to express their emotions in a healthy way.

emotional intelligence in children

Disclaimer: This post may contain affiliate links, which means if you order something after clicking my link I may receive a small commission at no extra cost to you.

What is Emotional Intelligence?

Commonly referred to as EQ, Emotional Intelligence is calculated by one’s ability to identify and control one’s emotions, as well as determine how someone else is feeling and relate to others. People with with a high EQ can use emotion to communicate effectively and have successful relationships.

Why is EQ important?

The research has spoken: IQ is not the predictor for our children’s future success. What is? Emotional intelligence.

People with a high IQ are smart and capable, but people with a high EQ are relatable and likable. They are sensitive, and instinctively know what others’ want and need. They’re easy to engage with and remain calm under stress. Sound like someone who might do well in life?

Simply put, the higher one’s EQ, the healthier relationships they will have with others. Poor EQ is linked to being short-tempered, having poor social skills, and engaging in unethical behaviors.

Teaching Emotional Intelligence

Unlike IQ, EQ can absolutely be taught. In fact some schools have begun programs specifically aimed at raising social and emotional intelligence in their students. In a study of 379 of such programs, the following outcomes were found: fewer discipline problems and suspensions, reduction in bullying and antisocial behaviors, better school attendance, and higher academic achievement (https://prodimages.6seconds.org/pdf/case_for_EQ_school.pdf).

So now that we know what EQ is and why it matters, how can parents teach this set of skills to our children at home?

Part one is all about laying the foundation for being able to discuss feelings with your kids.

Teach them to name their feelings

This is child therapy 101. Kids can’t talk about their feelings if they don’t know what their feelings are called and what they look like.

During my time as a child therapist, I came across kid after kid who thought there were only two feelings: happy and sad. Every now and then I’d a get a kid who would include mad.

Don’t let that be your kid!

Give them the vocabulary for more complex emotions, including:

  • scared
  • jealous
  • frustrated
  • disappointed
  • surprised
  • guilty
  • worried
  • excited
  • irritable

How to build their feelings vocabulary

Teach these words the same way you build all language skills in your children: by infusing them into your daily conversation with your child.

You can do this by:

  • Reflect your child’s emotions back to them. “You look frustrated right now. I would feel frustrated too if my block tower kept falling over.”
  • Name your own feelings out loud to your child. “I’m feeling disappointed because it’s raining and they cancelled the baseball game.”
  • Talk about others’ emotions. “Your cousin seemed upset when it was time to leave the party. How do you feel when it’s time to leave a party?”

Identify feelings based on faces

Going hand in hand with knowing the names of feelings is recognizing what those feelings look like. A really easy game you can play with your child is to name an emotion and have them hold up a Hand Mirror and try to make the face that matches. Inevitably it will turn into giggles because it is pretty funny to see someone trying to look angry or sad when they really aren’t.

There are also some great books with pictures of faces that can help your child learn to interpret how others’ are feeling. Lots of Feelings is a good one for young kids because instead of cartoon drawings it has actual photographs of children’s faces.

You can also draw faces for your child and have them try to guess what feeling you intended to draw. If they guess incorrectly, try to guide them there by giving more detail about the feeling. For example, if you’re drawing “worried” and the child guesses “scared”, this is an opportunity to teach them the nuances between the two. “Yes, this person is feeling a little scared, but it’s more like they are nervous about something that may or may not happen and they can’t stop thinking about it for a long time.”

Another great staple to have on hand is a “How are you feeling today?” chart. Even if your child can’t come up with the correct word for their feeling, they can choose a match from the faces shown and just point to it.

emotional intelligence in children

If your kid loves emojis, those can work just as well too.

Naming emotions in the moment

It’s one thing to be able to recognize a feeling during a game or while reading a book, but it’s a lot more difficult to be able to recognize one’s emotions in the midst of it. Once you hear your child do this, you will know that the effort has paid off and your child is fully understanding the vocabulary. I still remember the first time that my son shouted mid-tantrum: “I AM REALLY FEELING VERY FRUSTRATED RIGHT NOW!” I did a little happy dance inside because I knew we had built the foundation for emotional intelligence and were on our way to expressing emotions in a healthier way than a tantrum.

Coming up:

Now that you’ve laid the framework for your child’s emotional intelligence by teaching them to name and recognize feelings, it is time to teach them healthy ways to express their feelings, found in Part 2. In Part 3 (coming soon!), you will help your child learn how to apply their knowledge to others and develop empathy.

 

How to Manage Your Kids’ Expectations Around the Holidays

Posted by - 11 Comments

As if parenting isn’t challenging enough from January-October, when the clock strikes 12 on November 1st parents everywhere have to deal with Kids During the Holidays. The parties, the sweets, the carols, the toy catalogs, the commercials. It’s like a Christmas bomb goes off all around our children.

Like most parents, I try hard all year not to spoil my kids. I try to cultivate a spirit of gratitude and not entitlement. I long to embrace minimalism. When November and December roll around, I don’t want to undo all of that by going over-the-top for the holidays.

Kids are a marketer’s dream and it’s natural for them to want everything they see on TV. They’ll also see plenty of images of Christmas trees with presents just pouring out from underneath it. They may think that is what’s normal, and they’ll develop huge expectations. Here are some ways to manage their expectations and keep your sanity around the holidays.

managing kids expectations around the holidays

1. Keep the lists small

Ever hand your kid a toy catalog and tell them to circle what they want, only to get it back with 90% of the toys circled?

Children are literal, and if you ask them what they want for Christmas they may decide they want ALL THE THINGS. And once they’ve asked for it, their expectation is that they’re going to get it.

Don’t leave it so open-ended for them.

Instead of encouraging my kids to add everything in their wildest dreams to their Christmas list, I try to get them to think of a few things they truly want. We’ll write down a list of 3. Then when they see a commercial for a blanket in the shape of a shark that they just HAVE to have, I’ll refer back to their list and ask which thing they want to replace. Typically they look at the list and within moments the shark blanket is no longer a necessity.

2. Be upfront when the answer is no

Call me a mean mom all you want, but there are some things I’m just not going to give my child even if it’s the only thing he wants for Christmas. I don’t want my kids to have video games, so if they beg for an Xbox I know it’s not going to happen. Same thing goes for a puppy. (I already have 4 kids who act like animals, so as far as pets go- just no.)

It is better to disappoint your child on whatever random day they ask for these things rather than to disappoint them on Christmas morning. As soon as they mention something that off-limits for you, just be straightforward and tell them they won’t be getting that so they should choose something else. I like to be honest and give them the reason behind the no:

  • That is very expensive and we don’t spend that much on Christmas gifts.
  • Kids often get hurt using those toys so we won’t be playing with those at our house.
  • We don’t do video games because too much screen time isn’t good for kids.

“But Santa will get it for me!”

If your kid is smart they will try to pull the Santa card. We stick with the story that Santa knows all, including household rules. And Santa would never give a gift that breaks a household rule.

managing kids' expectations around the holidays
Sorry, son. Even if you’re on the nice list, Santa still won’t bring you a puppy.

3. Make it about giving

All of us parents hope our kids will get in the spirit of giving, but that’s not necessarily something that comes naturally for children. To shift their thinking from themselves to others, I make a concerted effort to individually plan out each kid’s  own Christmas shopping. Each one has a brainstorming session where they jot down ideas of what they think their family members will like, then we shop for it, they wrap it (with assistance) and make a card.

Whether they are spending their own money or not isn’t really the point, but the thought that goes into the gift is. It truly warms my heart to hear one of my children deliberate on which gift their sibling will like more. My 7 year old son once stood in Target for 15 minutes holding two My Little Ponies in his hands coming up with different reasons why his little sister would like one more than the other. When Christmas morning came, he watched her open that gift with more interest than you’d ever imagine a 7 year old boy can- all because he wanted to see her reaction.

We Moms take great joy in seeing our kids happy with their Christmas gifts, don’t deny them the same feeling of joy!

This year in addition to having our kids give gifts to their siblings, they will also be shopping for Grandma and Grandpa, their teachers, and children in need who put lists on the angel tree.

4. Focus on experiences

Prepare your kids in advance for how the holiday will go. Let them know they may or may not get all the presents they wanted, but they can be sure they’ll get to have a special day with family. Talk about how they’ll get to decorate Christmas cookies and leave some out for Santa. Get them planning what they’ll do with their cousins when they come to town.

Do you always watch a special Christmas movie? Or go to a religious service? Make handmade ornament to put on the tree? Incorporate your children’s ideas and preferences into these holiday traditions where you can. Build excitement around these experiences. When Mom is enthusiastic about something, the rest of the family will follow.

manage kids' expectations for the holidays
Family time together beats a gift grub any day

5. Don’t be afraid to keep it small

While we want Christmas to be a special time for our children, some kids just can’t handle all the hoopla. You know your kids and how much it takes for them to become overstimulated. Be mindful of their needs and plan accordingly. Sticking to their daily routine or giving them a secluded place for some quiet play on Christmas will prevent an epic meltdown.

Kids with past trauma, sensory issues, ADHD, autism, anxiety or a myriad of other issues especially will need some help getting through the holidays. This article Parenting Kids Who Sabotage Big Days offers more advice about keeping the holidays small and manageable for kids who can’t handle everything that goes along with a huge holiday.

With some advanced preparation, you can manage your kids’ expectations around the holidays and keep the spirit about love and togetherness instead of presents, presents, and more presents!

 

 

Ask Me Anything: We Are a Mixed Race Family

Posted by - 3 Comments

Ask Me Anything is a collaborative series featuring individuals and families that are facing challenges or are unique in some way. People can ask them anything they’d like to know about their story as long as it’s respectful.

The goal of this series is for people to gain a better understanding of those in unique situations. Open communication is key to understanding one another. If you would like to be featured in a future post, email me at [email protected].

Other topics in this series include: Postpartum Depression, Transracial Adoption, Creating a family using donor eggs, and Surviving domestic violence

This post was written by guest blogger Nicholette from Mixed Family Life.

being a mixed race family

How did you and your husband meet?

My husband and I met in high school. We had a mutual friend and then became friends our freshman year. We were friends until junior Year when my dumb self finally came around to realizing that I really liked him. I was so comfortable around him, which was weird because I was (am) very shy and introverted. But for some reason I just always felt at ease with him. I would even go as far to say that I felt more myself when he was around. We started dating the first day of exams our junior year and have been together ever since.

being a mixed race family
My husband and I

How did each of your families react to the relationship?

Prior to my husband, I dated a biracial boy (that I like to try to forget…lol). So my family was already sort of “broken in” in a sense of me dating someone outside of my race. They had initially shared concern about how we would be treated by others. We lived in a diverse area so it wasn’t that much of a shocker. My husband was only my second “real boyfriend” and I was only 16 when we started dating, so they didn’t have much else to go on either way. As for my husband’s family… I remember them being friendly but nothing really stands out other than my sister-in-law. She was always so incredibly friendly and welcoming to me. It was instantly like I had another sister. I will always appreciate her for that.

Did anything change after having children?

We always noticed how others treated us differently, or the stares we got… but nothing prepares you for when you have kids. Instantly my radar went up to 10000%. Mama Bear is an understatement. I am so acutely aware of how people view us, view our children, treat our children, and it can be quite stressful. Let me take a step back… it was alright and not much of a safety concern of mine until November 2016. Now I am afraid of how people will treat us when we go out as a family. I am afraid of how people will treat my husband. He is the father of my children and my best friend and if anything happened to him… I just don’t even know. He is an amazing father and I worry all people will see him as is a black man. It breaks my heart. To be honest for the week after the election, and every time I hear a news story about some of the scary racist things that have happened… I have extreme anxiety about going places with my kids and/or husband. We chose a diverse neighborhood to live in on purpose because of our children, so we get to avoid a lot of issues if we don’t stray far from home, but going out to certain parts of town really worry me of how people will treat us.
being a mixed race family
Our growing family

Have you ever gotten rude comments about your family? How do you respond?

We luckily haven’t gotten rude comments about our family (that I’m aware of or remember). I don’t know if that’s because as an adult I don’t give a crap anymore, but my husband and I got them more when we were younger. People older than us would say some ridiculous things to us! We were young and stupid so we would ignore them, or try to make them more uncomfortable. We do still get looks and sometimes treated differently but no outright comments luckily.

Do your children ever feel insecure about their hair in comparison to Mom’s hair or friends from school? How do you encourage positive self-image?

This is a big part of why I started my blog, MixedFamilyLife.com . A few years ago, when my daughter was about 3 years old, she told me she wanted straight hair like me. It broke my heart. I realized I needed to make some changes and put forth a lot more effort in her loving her curls. Stopping and thinking of how I speak when doing her hair (it used to be a STRUGGLE until I figured out how to do it) was very important. I didn’t want her to think her hair was difficult and hard work. We are aware of our word choices. They become her words one day and I want them to be positive ones. Learning to take care of it became a big goal of mine so that she would like her hair and think it looked pretty. Complimenting her hair (as well as her smarts and creativity) is something I try to incorporate in conversation. I make sure to show her pictures of other girls with beautiful curl hair as well whenever I can. She now loves her hair and I am so thankful.

Have you found that your children are more aware of skin color and race than other kids their age? How do you talk to them about skin color in ways they can understand?

My daughter started noticing our skin differences a few years ago around the same time as her hair. To her I am peach, daddy is brown and her and her brother are golden. To me that works because its how she defines it. I have always made it a point to let my kids know that all people are different and that is wonderful and not a bad thing. For example, we were at a store once and a guy had nail polish on. She asked me about it (way too loudly… ) and I just told her he must like nail polish. That’s ok and he can like whatever he wants. If we are watching TV or out in the world and she asks me about someone that is “different” than her/us I just explain to her matter of factly that we all have our differences and that is to be celebrated. Now that she is in school I am also trying to teach her to not make fun of others because they are different than you (she doesn’t but I am trying to be proactive).
being a mixed race family
Photo credit: City Lights Photography

How do you discuss such a complex topic as race with your kids, especially in light of current events and politics?

Similar to the previous question, I try to speak matter of factly. People are different colors and its a beautiful thing. I will admit I am scared about the current political climate. I avoid putting the news on the TV and try not to talk about politics too much in front of them. My daughter is a sponge and it just all makes me so worried. If she asks me a question I answer as honestly as I can in an age appropriate manner (which can be quite difficult). She, and other kids I’m sure, are more aware of things than we realize so I don’t want to lie to her about the truth. The most we have talked about it is quickly explaining that sometimes bad people don’t like others because of how they look, and that it isn’t alright and they are wrong.

What’s one thing you would want people to know about what it’s like to have a mixed race family?

That we love each other just as any other family would that is all the same race. Our hearts know no color but just the love we have for each other. My husband was my best friend first and then became my partner. I am with him because he makes me laugh and feel comfortable and safe. We may face different/additional problems and issues than families that are not multiracial, but I wouldn’t change it for anything. It does take work at times because you have to put in effort to understand issues and situations that arise from being in an interracial (and intercultural?) relationship and raising mixed kids so that you can be the best parent and partner you can be, but again… its the life that was chosen for me when I fell in love with my best friend.

About the Author

being a mixed race family
Photo credit: City Lights Photography

 

My name is Nicholette, and I am the mom behind “Mixed Family Life.”  Hair care can be a cultural barrier, so how does one do the hair of multiracial children?  As the white mother of two mixed kids, I felt it was my responsibility to learn how to properly care for their hair.  This personal pursuit led me to share what I’ve learned through my blog where I provide tips, tricks, and product reviews so that other interracial parents don’t have to make the same mistakes I’ve made.  I also share stories, anecdotes, and lessons learned through parenting.  Join me in our goofy adventures and learn some hair tips along the way.

You can also follow me on Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter!

 

 

A big thank you to the following bloggers for contributing questions for this post:

Bridget from This Mom Life

Jaymi from The Salty Mamas