Parenting funnies: Reasons my 4 year old has woken me up at night

Parenting Funnies RealMomRecs

You know how kids can be so annoying and so exhausting, you have to laugh about it in order to deal with how insane it is?

That’s where I am right now with my 4 year old waking me up at night. For the most absurd reasons.

My kid isn’t like most little kids who rotate between the “drink of water” and “need to go potty” requests all night long. She prefers to torture me more creatively.

Reasons my 4 year old has woken me up at night:

  1. To ask me if I’m sleeping.
  2. She needs a bandaid for an invisible boo boo.
  3. Her pajamas have a tag that suddenly became itchy.
  4. To ask me why she can say “Mario” but she can’t say “Luh-lee-gee”.
  5. (15 mins later) Just letting me know that Mario wears red and “Luh-lee-gee” wears green and did I know those are Christmas colors?
  6. Checking to see if I remembered that a long, long, long, LONG time ago, she watched Frosty the Snowman.
  7. To ask if it is anybody’s birthday tomorrow.
  8. To ask how many days there are until her birthday.
  9. Screaming, terrified because she is sure she saw one of her stuffed animals move.
  10. (10 mins later) This time she’s not sure if it moved, but she wants me to get it out of her room anyway.
  11. Asks, “if sunscreen smells like bananas does that mean it tastes like bananas?”
  12. To have me dispose of a hangnail that she peeled off.
  13. She wanted me to tell her again what my name was before my name was Mommy.
  14. To let me know that she plans on swimming in the deep water when she’s 5. Or maybe 10. But she thinks 5.
  15. To ask if she will be getting the treat I’ve bribed her with as a reward for not waking me up in the night.
READ  Our Family Vacation in Crappy Cell Phone Pics

Yeah, I’m pretty sure she doesn’t understand how that bribe is supposed to work 🙄

What ridiculous reasons have your kids had for waking you up in the night? Share your parenting funnies with a comment!

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Author

Adoptive mom, biological mom, slacker mom, Disney mom, and above all things a REAL mom. Fan of blogging, sleeping, and pretending not to hear my kids fight.

10 comments

  1. Oh you poor, poor mom! I’ve had them get up at bedtime several times for ridiculous reasons. But luckily not in middle of the night! I’m so sorry!
    You know, scared of tsunamis (we live in PA). Scared of titanic. (I don’t even know). I have a bump on my (insert any body part). I need more stuffed animals. You’re daughter sounds quite creative!! 😄

    1. Haha! Sounds like my 8 year old with the sudden nighttime irrational fears! She was worried about floods for the longest time, no idea where that one came from! Tsunamis will probably be next 😆

  2. Hahaha this is great. I mean, I’m sorry. Poor mama. But I’m glad you can laugh about it! My three year old has some sleep issue that just causes her to moan and then wake up crying like all night. We’ve been trying to get it figured out forever-even did a sleep study, she had SURGERY. Nothing has helped. Not really funny, but it was good to read something funny about the same (ish) subject. Oof.

    1. Wow that sounds awful! Is it like night terrors? We have had a couple of those and they’re no fun but the crying doesn’t last all night. Damn girl. Hope that gets better soon for you!

  3. Omg your daughter is hilarious. I mean. I know she doesn’t mean to be, and at 3 am you probably don’t think she is. But these are great!! 😂 I’m sharing this with all my mommy friends.

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