Mom Talk Mondays Archives

Mom Talk Monday: To find out the sex of the baby or be surprised

Happy Monday everyone! After a long, boring and rainy weekend, I was pretty happy to drop the kids off at school this morning and I think they were even happy to go.

The only exciting part of our weekend was hearing the news from good friends of ours that they are not only expecting, but expecting TWINS!

Of course this led to many fun conversations reminiscing about our past pregnancies and deliveries. One thing we both have in common is that we did not find out the sex of our babies before birth and we loved the excitement of the reveal once that baby came out.

(My friend Alexandra over at Coffee and Coos actually published the story of my last baby’s birth. You can see by the look on my face just how exciting that reveal is once the baby is out!)

For her twin pregnancy, my friend said she was on the fence about finding out the sexes this time around. There are already so many unknowns with a twin delivery, and of course there are more possible combinations of boys and girls. I could see that it could get a little overwhelming.

With both of my pregnancies, I was of course curious to find out if it was a boy or a girl and it was very temping to peak when they did that 20 week ultrasound. But I felt it would be even more fun and exciting to let the baby show us the goods and see for ourselves rather than have a doctor tell us at an ultrasound appointment.

I also liked that my husband could have the important job of announcing “It’s a ….!”

But, having to wait 9 long months to find out if our bundle of joy was a “he” or a “she” was not without it’s challenges. The cons of waiting were:

not being able to buy gender-specific clothes ahead of time (this wasn’t a huge con for me as my favorite color is gray and I hate light pink- but I know it’s hard for most people)
having to decide on a boy name and a girl name (get baby name help here!)
doing gender-neutral room decor or waiting until after the birth to complete the baby’s room

This seems like one of those issues that people have a clear opinion on one way or the other. I’d love to hear from you!

Did you find out the sex of the baby or wait to be surprised? Why did you make the choice that you did?

Mon
19 ^th

Mom Talk Monday: How much to pay the babysitter?

Posted by Caitlin - 17 Comments

I’ve written before about the importance of parents going out for regular date nights. Having a great babysitter is your ticket to a bit a freedom, and a healthy dose of reconnecting with your spouse. If you are lucky enough to find a great sitter, she is worth her weight in gold! I recommend you treat her well so she will stick around.

One question I hear over and over from new Moms is “how much should I pay the babysitter?”

Many factors will decide the appropriate hourly rate:

Region: Find out what the going rate is in your area. In regions with a higher cost of living, the rates will be inflated.
Number of kids: While summer sitters charge a single rate for their time, others may charge more for more children.
Age: You can expect to pay an adult or college student more than you would pay a high schooler.
Job requirements: Will the sitter be expected to drive the children around? Make dinner? Or will she spend an hour putting them to bed and then watch TV for the next four hours? (Some parents may ask a babysitter to do housework, personally I feel this is out of the scope of their job. The exception would be if it’s directly related to the children, like assisting the children with picking up their toys or preparing food for the kids.)

Of course you can always simply ask the sitter what she charges and go from there. Go in with a ballpark price range based on other Moms in your area and adjust as necessary.

It’s also important to distinguish between a weekend date night babysitter, and a regular daytime childcare provider. The first I consider a babysitter, and the latter a nanny or daycare provider. The expectations and rates vary greatly between the two.

To get an idea of the varying rates people pay their sitters, I’d love to collect as many responses as possible! How much do you pay your babysitter? What factors contributed to your decision?

Mon
05 ^th

Mom Talk Monday: What are you doing RIGHT?

Posted by Caitlin - 11 Comments

After my last post about giving our kids positive feedback, I started thinking about how hard parenting is and how little positive feedback we Moms get.

Modern Moms tend to question everything. Is it really safe to vaccinate my children? Am I feeding them foods that will end up being harmful for them? Have I done enough to prepare them for school? Am I doing too much helicopter parenting? What am I doing WRONG?

Someone asked me the other day what the best piece of advice I’ve gotten about parenting was. I said to go easy on yourself. If your kids are clothed, fed, safe, and loved, you’re doing great. Anything on top of that is a bonus.

This message is a stark contrast to most of the messages parents are bombarded with all the time. In the age of information overload, parents can’t even keep up with all the recommendations of what they should or shouldn’t be doing. Never before has parenting seemed so complicated.

It’s understandable why there are so many nervous parents walking around filled with doubt.

Positive feedback for Moms

Sometimes as a mother it feels like the world is watching you parent and judging everything you do. Any mistakes the children make are seen as failures of the parents.

I think we need to put a stop to that kind of negativity and instead focus on what we’re doing right.

So let’s start with ourselves. Let’s identify our own strengths. Let’s feel proud of the things we know we’re doing right.

Maybe this small step will help derail the path of doubt and negativity and get us feeling confident and accomplished. We do a LOT every day, and we do it well. It’s time for someone to notice that, even if it’s just ourselves.

Tell us one thing you’re doing RIGHT in the comments!

And don’t forget to pay it forward. Give positive feedback to another Mom in your life!

Mon
29 ^th

Mom Talk Monday: Adulting is the Worst

Posted by Caitlin - 18 Comments

This weekend my son Z made some poor choices resulting in the loss of screen time privileges. He voiced his disapproval of this injustice with the classic: “I can’t wait until I’m an adult! I’ll watch as much TV as I feel like! I’ll do whatever I want! I CAN’T WAIT!”

Remember when you were a kid and dreamed about adulthood and all the fun and freedom that would come with it?

I used to think about the endless desserts I would eat without my parents forcing me to eat meat and vegetables. Now I am an adult and I force myself to eat meat and vegetables.

Being an adult didn’t exactly turn out like we dreamed it would, did it? Somehow it turned out more like this:

Mondays are particularly tough days for adulting. The past several Mondays, I’ve had a series of dentist appointments to have some dental work done. I absolutely can’t stand going to the dentist. Having your body start to fall apart has got to be one of the worst parts of being an adult.

My other most hated adulting tasks include:

anything related to taxes (although my husband does this for a living so luckily I don’t have to do much!)
automotive work including car repairs, oil changes, and ESPECIALLY the DMV
having to cook and clean instead of having someone else cook and clean for you like when you were a kid
bills. Duh.

Let it out! What do you think is the worst part of adulting?

Mon
22 ^nd

Mom Talk Monday: The Great Video Game Debate

Posted by Caitlin - 14 Comments

Back when I was a perfect parent (you know, before I actually had real kids) I was a firm believer that my kids would never play video games. I rolled my eyes when I saw kids in public glued to a handheld device. I’d heard about the video game epidemic plaguing a generation of young people by taking away their ability to socialize in real life. The decision to withhold video games from my children seemed like an easy and obvious one.

Fast forward a few years and a few kids, and my stance on the video game debate has started to change. My son has a lot of energy and not a lot of attention span. Somewhere along the way, bringing along an iPad or Nintendo DS seemed like a great way to get him to stay quiet and happy when we go places that require a lot of waiting. He gets dragged to his sisters’ dance classes several times per week, and being able to hand him a device has made these waiting room hours much more pleasant for everyone.

Like lots of parenting decisions, the video game decision easily turns into a slippery slope. Several of my son’s friends have a Wii or Nintendo Switch, and now he is begging and pleading of one of those. It’s tempting to have a gaming system to use as “currency” for him (i.e. if you do all your homework and 20 minutes of reading, you earn XX minutes of video game time). However my initial concerns are still there. Will he become addicted and not want to engage in the creative and active play he does now? Do video games actually hinder social skills? Will he grow up to become one of those husbands that plays video games all the time?!

I’m still on the fence here but I’ve laid out the pros and cons:

Video Game Pros:

fitting in with friends and peers who play video games
can use as a reward (bribe) to encourage homework, chores, etc.
Just Dance, Wii Fit, etc promote physical activity
could give Mom and Dad opportunities for peace and quiet

Video Game Cons:

less time doing other more brain-boosting types of play
could get expensive
could get addictive
doesn’t help develop social skills

Moms and Dads, weigh in! Do you allow gaming systems in your house? What parameters do you set?

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